


Dear Aaron

by Spark_Stark



Series: Saudade [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Love Letters, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:06:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29000412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spark_Stark/pseuds/Spark_Stark
Summary: Monday morning, 8.15am.The bare desk is decorated by a single envelope.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Series: Saudade [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127507
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	Dear Aaron

_ Dear Aaron,  _

__

_ Before I begin, please understand how utterly ashamed I am of myself.This is what I could only describe as a last resort. _

_ Four years ago I fell in love with you. Since that day, I have lived in technicolour satisfaction. For three years, I watched from the sidelines in content, glowing in the warmth of your smile, the safety of your eyes, the fervour of your voice. But things have changed since last year, and I can no longer find pleasure watching from afar, in fact I find it painfully difficult.  _

_ I cannot begin to understand what caused this sudden change, because whenever you are involved my heart controls my brain. All I know is my brain, my mind, my intelligence, but around you I lose even that; the one thing that makes me who I am, without it I am nothing but a shell of a person. It would be quite funny if it weren’t so debilitating. _

_ In accordant of this confession it must not be a surprise to you when I say I am leaving the team. Moreover, I have decided to quit the FBI altogether. This is your home, not mine. It is my fault and my fault alone that my feelings have become such an inconvenience to both of us. I’ve tried so hard to control it, banish my thoughts and distract myself but, alas, there is nothing that satisfies my heart the way you do.  _

_ I’m sorry things have to end this way, I was given a choice and I chose cowardice. It’s not what you deserve but it’s all that I can give. I’ll never be enough, but I’ve known that for some time now. All great things must soon meet their end, and the past ten years have been just that; great. They will now succumb to a bittersweet memory because I could not find it in me to pull away until the warmth from you became too much and burned me beyond repair.  _

_ In a gradually heating bathtub, you’d be boiled to death before you knew it. _

_ Love, Spencer. _

**Author's Note:**

> me?? starting a new fic when i still have many many wips?? yes. anyways so basically this story is around s5 and spencer leaves bc he’s in love with aaron :(( but maybe aaron loves him too? we will have to wait and see!


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